In the World of Danell

Jubilation is one of my favorite words. I like how the word rolls across my tongue and fills the space of my mouth. Jubilation means to feel great happiness and triumph. Why am I writing about happiness? Well, I have recently been struggling with the idea of happiness and all of its descriptions (bliss, joy,…

Oh my goodness, the struggle is real. Yes, I know it has be months since I last posted on the blog. It is’t that I have not thought endlessly about writing. I have just be caught up with life and everything it entails. The way my personality is set up I often do not take…

I love how Glennon Dolye describes the “hot loneliness”. Doyle describes the place where pain and discomfort lies as the hot loneliness which is a place I am all too familiar. For me my hot loneliness was not just the mental pain, but the physical pain. My “hot loneliness” was filled with all the thoughts…

I have this thing about death; rather, I had this thing about death. I remember attending only one funeral in my life because death was so freighting to me. There was just something to cold and final about dying. I think my fears around death were related more to my strict religious upbringing than to…

When you don’t know how to stop the world from spinning dissociating provides this sweet comfort. I could “check out” from any intense emotional situation and return when my body, mind or the situation became safe again. The exist had really little to do with safety and more to do with the perception of safety.…

If you have read pervious post you know I have been well acquainted with fear. In my very last post I introduced you to my experience with my friend shame. Shame has definitely been a close companion of mine over the years. I learned early on I was too much. I asked too many questions…

“Shame on me, shame on me! Shit, shame on me,” is all that played in my head as I sat on the bathroom floor of barracks room. What on earth had I done? In that moment the shame I was experiencing was not the shame my mother and sister wanted me to feel, instead it…

First, you might have noticed I did not post on Monday and boy did I stress about not posting. This week was the first full week back at work since my partner retuned home and I have been trying to whip everyone back into shape. We are all, slowly but surely, getting to our family…

“If it pricks you then it is for you” is one of my favorite quotes. Every teacher I’ve had has said this quote to me during some part of my journey. I find I use the same quote when I am serving as teacher or mentor to another person. I personally use this quote as…

Then, the Navy happened. I saw the Navy as a way to get far away from everything and everyone. Little did I know the one person I was running from I could not actually escape no matter how hard I tried. No matter how far I ran there I was. No matter how fast I…